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My best friend friend’s, Mandi, has Thyroid cancer among several other medical problems. The Doctors have given her 12-24 months to live. This year her husband’s work insurance changed and will not cover any of her medical expenses, and she is unable to qualify for medicare. She has set up a GoFundMe page ( she’s essentially living month to month not knowing if she will be able to afford medication. On top of all this she also has a son who recently needed surgery for his ears. All of this has put a great strain on her and her family. My friend and I are at the very least trying to spread awareness about thyroid cancer and how much it actually costs (which is really what she is asking for the most). If people want to donate to her, that would be greatly appreciated as well. 

I am not asking people to donate (only if you want), but please share this link and spread awareness!






I feel like a legend.

Check out the list of the year-end Top 10 of 1994. ACE OF BASE IS ON IT THREE TIMES!

1”The SignAce of Base

2”I SwearAll-4-One

3”I’ll Make Love to YouBoyz II Men

4”The Power of LoveCéline Dion

5”HeroMariah Carey

6”Stay (I Missed You)Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories

7”Breathe AgainToni Braxton

8”All for LoveBryan AdamsRod Stewart and Sting

9”All That She WantsAce of Base

10”Don’t Turn AroundAce of Base

This was the year, btw, that Dookie came out, the biggest punk album of the 90s. Longview, the first single of Dookie, peaked at #36 on the Hot 100. THIRTY SIX! 

Oh god there was so much bad music in the 90s. So much…at least the bad music these days is fun to dance to. Look at this list…it was like the highest form of popular entertainment was closing your eyes and FEELING THE FEELS.

(Source: theacheofmodernism)

I Will Not Stay SIlent

I posted this on a local blog, but it got removed because it “bordered libel”. So, I am posting it here;

It has come to my attention that Rep George Lambert of Litchfield, NH is running for State Senate. Now, I understand that a lot of people are going to disregard what I’m about to write, tell me I’m a liar, shame me for slandering this “good, liberty driven, family man.” I get that, I get that there will be people who don’t believe me. It doesn’t matter. I know the truth, and so does he. This needs to be out there. I am tired of men like him getting away with stuff. I am tired of women not speaking out in fear of retaliation. Believe me or not, I’m still telling my story. This isn’t about revenge. This is about empowering women not to be silent. So, now, here is my story of the time I lived with George and his family.

George and I started hanging out after he reached out to me during a difficult time (he would later use this against me several times as a way to make me feel guilty). He then invited me over his house to meet his family. In the coming months I would end up spending more time there than where I was staying in Epsom, and eventually I moved in. One of the first times I was over his house he took me into the basement. I ended up performing oral sex on him after he told me his wife said it was okay for him to do this sort of thing with other woman (she just didn’t want to know about it). I later found out that was a lie.

Later when I started to spend more time there; me, him, and his wife came up with an agreement, and we had an open arrangement. I became the house “pet”. I was even given a necklace made of silver to show my status as the “pet”. At an event one time I wore the necklace, and when a friend of George’s came up to me to touch it, George got territorial as if I was his property. We had a list of things that were okay and things that were not. Let me be clear, I *never* had sex with him. Most of the stuff on the list his wife agreed to, but later admitted it was because he would get upset if she didn’t. I remember one time we had discussed some changes in the arrangement, and later when I spoke to his wife she told me she was not really comfortable, but agreed because if she didn’t he’d pretty much throw a fuss and guilt trip. Sure enough when we went back and explained that his wife didn’t really want certain things to happen, he reacted like a six year old not getting his way.

I made it clear from the start that I was not attracted to his wife, and did not want to be physical with her. I tried, for his sake, but was not feeling it. However, he would often try to talk me into being sexual with her. One time even taking my hand and putting it on her body while there was sexual stuff going on between them. This happened while I was in their bed under the impression I was just there to sleep and cuddle. He even started to have sex with her while I was in bed with them, sleeping. Not even bothering to ask me if I wanted to leave. Eventually we decided to tone things down and agreed that George and I could cuddle, but pants had to stay on.

This is where it gets complicated. George would come in my room, already naked, to cuddle. While cuddling he would often take my hand and place it on his penis and make me give him a hand job. He also force my head down into his crotch on more than one occasion. This would happen when I was not fully awake/aware, and under the impression I had just consented to cuddling. Part of me was also scared to deny him because of his reactions and short fuse. One time we were on the couch, and I was fully awake. He tried to make me give him a hand job and I rejected him. He became very hostile towards me.

Eventually when I started seeing someone, I asked him if he could please stop coming into my room naked. He became angry, verbally abusive and accused me of not appreciating “everything he has done for me.” He also told me he couldn’t wait until I left. His wife excused his behavior stating he was on steroids (he took them after his heart attack). Except this was not the first and last time he exhibited this behavior. Let me give you some scenarios.

1. One night I was in their bed, upset, and talked to them about stuff. I went back in my room, but was bothered by something that was said. I sent his wife a text message and all I put was, “”. Moments later, George came stomping down the stairs, ripped the curtain off my door and started screaming at me to get out of his house. This was the middle of the night.

2. I was under strict orders to, “not annoy the wife.” During a conversation to get some clarity, he told me I could not even annoy her unintentionally. He basically told me she could do whatever she wanted, anger me, annoy me…but I was not even allowed to breath wrong near her.

3. At one point my car died, and George used one of his bitcoins to buy a car from a friend (he claims it was his most prized possession). He let me borrow his other car until I got one of my own (his words). When I did he became angry/hostile/mean towards me. When I went to his house to bring his car back and key he was cold and did not speak to me. As I was leaving he had his wife tell me (while he was in the room with me) that he’s “blocking my texts/calls”. He also told me that “I don’t get it” and “I’m not appreciative.” When I texted his wife saying I didn’t understand what the problem was all she said was, “yes you do.”

4.He screamed at me on more than one occasion for making a simple mistake.

5. I’ve heard him scream like a maniac about his wife when she wasn’t around. Accusing her of screwing things up, and acting like she’s his servant.

6. This is the man who tells the people in his house he is the “benevolent dictator”. I witnessed him screamed at his 9 year old because he tried to give him a bracelet. Also when she made a simple mistake. He completely flew off his rocker, screaming like a maniac.

7. One time, before I knew he was angry about me asking him not to come in my room naked he and I were in the kitchen. He had just gotten back from a meeting and I was up getting a drink. I thought everything was fine, so I put my hand on his shoulder in a friendly, “hey how are you” way. He jumped back and yelled at me, “ongoing consent! I didn’t give you permission to touch me!!” This is the kind of hypocritical BS I dealt with.

I know George has a lot of supporters, and I’m sure they are going to attack me. I am sure he and his family will deny all of this. It’s the truth, and I feel it needs to be out there. I feel people need to know what this man is really like before they vote for him. Often people like him get voted into office because of the “nice guy” persona they put out in public.

I’m not going to be silent. I’m sure some of you will do research on me and use my past against me. As if it has anything to do with my situation with George. I’m sure some of you will use the fact there was a time I did consent to doing sexual things with him. That’s fine, not everyone understands that consent also means ongoing and fully aware consent. To dismiss what I am saying because at one point I did like him, and have a relationship with him is like saying a wife cannot be raped by her husband because they’ve had consensual sex for years. Did you know rape and assault happen 2/3 with someone the victim knows?

I am not ashamed of who I am. I am a very sexually liberal and open person. I also have a past, and I’m sure you will dig up seemingly horrible things about me. Know that these things are posted on a well known slanderous, hateful website. A website that prides itself on harassing people, making fun of people who commit suicide, and shaming people from nobodies to big name celebrities. They are admitted internet “trolls”, and do this under the guise of “parody” and “satire.” Also the dirt you will inevitably dig up is over 6 years old, untrue and/or exaggerated, and came at a time when I was a very different person.

Yes, I have mental illness, but if you choose to use this against me and pin me as a “lunatic” or “crazy” then it just proves how much stigma still exists. It is incredibly shameful to tell someone to, “not use their illness as an excuse” and then turn around and use it against them as a way to make them out to be a liar (as people have already done to me). If you ask my therapist, and my closest friends they will tell you I am stable, and I am of full sound, mind and body. I am not delusional. I am a fully, extremely high functioning person. I have even been told by my therapist I need less therapy because I am much more stable now.

Finally, yes, I am the person who was involved in the Rich Girard sexting incident, but one does not have to do with the other. If anything the Rich incident helped prompt me to come forward. Attempting to discredit me is like telling a rape victim they are a liar because they were involved in a separate abusive relationship.

Do I have “proof”? Obviously not. It all happened in his home, behind closed doors. But let me ask you this, does he have “proof” it didn’t happen? Why as a society are we, “innocent until proven guilty,” unless it comes to victims of abuse?

Am I perfect? Of course not. This does not however, give anyone the right to treat me like an object. It does not give anyone the right to think just because I say yes once, it’s a yes every time. Even if I was a terrible person in the past, it still does not excuse the abuse I got while living with George and his family

Even without the sexual stuff, George Lambert is not a stable man. I urge you to not vote for him.

I am doing this to show other victims of abuse they do not have to be afraid. That they do not have to stay silent out of fear or a power status. No one may believe me, but I would rather speak out and be called a liar than stay silent.
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